


The Great Burrito Fiasco

by thescarletwoman



Category: The Avengers (2012), The Avengers - All Fandoms
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-12
Updated: 2012-08-12
Packaged: 2017-11-12 00:36:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/484673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thescarletwoman/pseuds/thescarletwoman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Drabble] Tony's cooking 'skillz' are called into question. Steve is devious. Tony is oblivious.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Great Burrito Fiasco

Breakfast.

There's a story that the last time Tony tried to cook breakfast -- specifically an omelette -- he managed to destroy a pan and burn a hole in the ceiling. Tony denies this whenever Pepper tries to bring it up. Furthermore, if Pepper showed him those pictures Jarvis 'supposedly' took when The Omelette Incident happened, heads will roll. 

Steve is quite skeptical of Tony's cooking skills as well. Whenever Tony tries to cook a fancy dinner and prove he knows his way around the kitchen -- Steve always manages to find the containers from this or that restaurant in the garbage. Thus, Steve began to cook for them both. It tastes decent at least -- even if what he makes reminds Tony of rations. But his meals haven't caused any damage to Stark Tower and there have been no real burns in unmentionable places, so the arrangement works out well.

Until Steve gets sick -- and Tony's the one who has to tend kitchen duty.

"How are you sick?" He asks, sitting on the edge of the bed. He frowns, putting his hand to Steve's forehead. He's hot, but he's always run hot -- it's one of the things he loves about Steve. "You don't just get sick, Steve."

The cough is convincing and the look on Steve's face is enough to convince him that something's wrong. He narrows his eyes at Steve, then sighs and lightly kisses his partner's forehead as he gets up. 

"Still can't believe you're sick. I read the files on Project Rebirth. You don't just get sick. Stop fooling and go make breakfast."

Steve snuggles down in the bed, giving Tony a pathetic look. He adds another cough and Tony's stomach clenches. He doesn't like the thought of his partner under the weather -- especially when he shouldn't be. "Make me breakfast? Please, Tony."

It should be harder to resist Steve. Tony sighs and scratches his beard. "What do you want, babe?"

"Breakfast burritos."

That was ten minutes ago and Tony is still standing in the middle of the kitchen, waiting for food to make itself. So far, that hasn't happened and he knows bringing Dummy or Butterfingers upstairs from the garage will cause too much noise. He's going to have to figure out how to make breakfast on his own.

See, the thing is, the Great Omelette Fiasco did happen -- he's just too proud to admit it.

And, of course, Mr Sick Super Soldier (really, there should be a law against Super Soldiers getting sick at the drop of a hat) had to ask for something that he couldn't have delivered to the Tower. Something like breakfast burritos -- you should smell all the different parts coming together to form a delicious burrito-shaped object.

First… the eggs.

After two destroyed pans, a dozen burnt eggs and a kitchen full of smoke, Tony decides to go for something easier -- the burrito part. All that requires is opening a package and putting them on a plate. Success there.

"Tonyyyyyyy."

"I didn't know you could whine."

"I married the king of whiners," Steve replies, adding in a few coughs. "I figured I should keep my skills up to match yours. I can has fooooooodzzzz."

Tony rolls his eyes. "If you start speaking like those lolcats I showed you last night I'm throwing out breakfast and making you eat cereal."

"Tooooonyyyyyyy."

"You're really, really lucky you have such a nice ass."

Silence. Good. 

Tony attempts the eggs again. He's mostly successful, when he starts sautéing the veggies first and is actually about to accomplish this whole burrito thing -- except when it comes to putting the eggs in. One makes it into the pan (hopefully Steve likes a bit of eggshell with his burrito), the second hits the burner and the kitchen smells like burning hair.

"Tony!"

Steve comes rushing into the kitchen and pulls Tony away from the stove and looks Tony up and down, as if expecting to see him on fire. He frowns, rubbing the back of his neck. 

"What?" Tony asks, turning the burner off. This pan of eggs is ruined too. Son of a bitch. That makes three.

"You're… I smelled burning hair. I thought you burned yourself."

"It's the eggs Steve," Tony says, trying to toss the pan into the trashcan without Steve seeing. "I'm fine. Promise."

Steve's face breaks out into a grin as he fishes all of the destroyed pans out of the trash. "Hmmm. It seems Pepper was correct regarding the omelette mishap. I don't need to see those pictures after all.

Wait a second --

Tony whirls around and prods Steve in the chest, grumbling under his breath.

"You weren't sick!"

Steve grins. "Nope."

"Yet you made me believe you were."

"That's a yes."

"Just so you could prove that I actually fuck up while cooking."

"Language. And yes."

Tony sighs, body slumping as he leans against Steve. Steve pats him on the back, then gently ruffles Tony's hair. He makes a small sound of contentment, wrapping his arms around Steve.

"And now," Tony murmurs, "let us never speak of this again."

"Of course we won't." Steve pauses. "Oh, and Jarvis? Upload movie to youtube."


End file.
